My tears for Trayvon have yet to fall. Ever since the verdict, I’ve been too numb to say or do much of anything in regards to the court case. A part of me feared the worst. The other hoped for justice. All of me prayed for the best. We didn’t get it. This post is from a merely selfish point of view because I’m hurting and don’t know what to do about it. I’m hurt by the underlying racism that rages in the recesses of this country. I’m hurt by a system that’s broken and resists much-needed repairs. I’m hurt by a racial divide that widens as I write this.
“If you find the godless world is hating you, remember it got its start hating me. If you lived on the world’s terms, the world would love you as one of its own. But since I picked you to live on God’s terms and no longer on the world’s terms, the world is going to hate you.” John 15:18-19 (The Message)
How do we move on, how do we make sense of that which is senseless? I feel sadness for a set of parents who, a year later, had to relive the worst day in their lives during three weeks of grueling testimony, demeaning cross-examinations, and death threats. I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m mad. I’m disgusted. I’m weighed down by a numbness triggered by two words, “Not Guilty.” What am I supposed to do with those words? How do we absorb them, make peace with them and move on?
I’ve told you these things to prepare you for rough times ahead. John 16:1 (The Message)
I’ve stopped reading the paper about the verdict. I could care less about anyone who hops on a talk show sofa to tell their side of the story or jury experience. I refuse to watch replays of Defense attorneys popping champagne on TV. Well, they may not have had the bottles during their post-trial high five fest, but their glee and arrogance were too much for me to stomach. A young man’s life has been lost, stolen by a grown man’s fear, prejudice and ill will. I still have tears. You may too. Those tears continue to hang in the balance of my disbelief.
“So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” Hebrews 13:6 (NIV)
What now? Is the question I keep asking myself. My feelings are still locked tight in silence. My pain makes me wanna holler and assume a stork-like posture by thrusting my head into the sand away from the world’s ugliness. Instead, I turned to the bible to deal with my disappointment, seek peace, and pray for refuge from my anger. When I asked for his help, God sent me to the scriptures noted to calm my fury. Like my pastor always says, God did not promote this but he permitted it. He will use it for the greater good. He stands as the final JUDGE, issuing his own verdict upon the guilty.
What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31 (NIV)
When we need healing, God gives it. When we need peace, God freely offers it. When we look to him for comfort, he extends his arms with mercy and grace. When we’re at a loss for words, he gives us wisdom and discernment. When we’re ready to explode, he steadies our emotions. And when the tears for Trayvon, and the many other young black men gone too soon, have yet to fall, he fills our hearts and minds with the Holy Spirit so that we can keep on living, keep on crying and keep on fighting for justice.
My prayer for you is for peace. My request of you is to join me in praying for peace.
Peace be with you,
Image source: Eunique Jones Photography, www.euniquejonesphoto.com